2013 Golden Globes Recap

2013 Golden Globes Recap

I’m not really an awards show kind-of guy, but I watched the Golden Globes last night because there was no football, so here are some only slightly educated thoughts and feelings from the ceremony last night. Congratulations to all winners.

• Best Dressed: Jessica Alba edges out J-Lo in a tight race
• Surprisingly Deep Acceptance Speech: Kevin Costner
• Award for Winning All Awards: Homeland (this might be called the Modern Family Award in the future from that Emmys run a couple of years ago)
• Great Decision: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as hosts. Really funny.
• Not-So-Great Decision: Showing like seven cut-away shots of Jack Black. Like there aren’t more relevant people you can show, NBC?
• Movie With Multiple Winners That I Still Have to See: Les Mis. Supposed to be great. Didn’t know Hugh Jackman could sing, but now I have to up my game again so I can compete for my girlfriend’s heart. Voice lessons, here I come.
• The Catapult Award:  The Catapult Award is given to something that will receive a huge ratings boost/profit/recognition, etc. from a win. So this award goes to HBO’s Girls for Lena Dunham’s win last night. I have never seen Girls, but it’s been getting a lot of attention in awards season, so now I’m probably going to check it out, and I think a lot of America will follow suit. Calling it now: big season three.
• Strangest Acceptance Speech: Not Jodie Foster’s, because I was very creeped out by one Quentin Tarantino. I know this guy is like a movie genius in some ways, but he is a bulge-eyed crazy dude who was hyper and yelling for his whole speech. Like I could imagine him losing his mind and shaking his head ferociously with his tongue out sending sweat everywhere and becoming an axe murderer. Stranger things have happened. Just saying.
• Most Heart-warming Speech: Probably Daniel Day-Lewis. He was genuinely appreciative of his award, and he spoke very eloquently and passionately. He deserved to win, too; he just nailed the role of a lifetime.
• Best Presenters: I mean, it has to be Will Ferrell and Kristin Wiig, right? I can’t believe how prepared they were, watching all those movies like that to get ready for the show.
• Immediate Internet Sensation Award: Tommy Lee Jones has gotten all the buzz for being incredibly stoic while Ferrell and Wiig were doing their thing. He’s pretty much a cross between the Grumpy Cat and Not-Impressed McKayla. My proposed name for it is “Stone Cold Tommy Lee”. Think that rolls off the tongue.
• Big Winner of the 2013 Golden Globes: Ben Affleck. His career has officially made a full comeback. Last night he won Best Director over the likes of Spielberg and Tarantino for directing, producing, and starring in Argo, the movie about the rescue of American hostages. As if that wasn’t enough, Argo won the award for Best Picture, beating out Lincoln, Django Unchained, etc. Affleck doubled up on two of the giant awards, absolutely making him the biggest winner last night.
• Big Winner of 2012: Jennifer Lawrence. Star of a major movie franchise (Katniss Nation!), winning awards for Silver Linings Playbook, finishing high on lists of World’s Sexiest Women...and only 22.
• Important Questions Needed To Be Asked: Can Fey and Poehler become hosts every year, kind of like Dick Clark’s New Years kind of thing? Why was Taylor Swift even in attendance at a TV and mostly movie award show? Why did Daniel Day-Lewis pass up the obvious chance to being his acceptance speech, “Fourscore and seven years ago...” (Make it happen at the Oscars DDL!)? Why couldn’t the Golden Globes people make video presentations for all of the nominees instead of having the presenters awkwardly read them off the prompter? Who knew there were so many ways to incorrectly pronounce Les Miserables? Why is the Golden Globes trophy so underwhelming and small? How many celebrities do you think show up drunk to these award shows (I’ll put the over/under at 30%)? Do people really have nothing better to do in Yemen than fishing for salmon? Why did Anne Hathaway look like she was going to have a breakdown every second she was on stage? Is Joseph Gordon-Levitt the most overrated actor in the world right now? Ok that last one wasn’t really relevant to last night, but it is valid. Not a huge fan of him.

So that was my review of the 2013 Golden Globes. If you have feedback feel free to comment, I’d like to learn some more stuff about award shows so I know how to judge speeches and outfits and such. Once again, congratulations to all the winners. Godspeed.